Lorde’s Complete Dating History

Musical artist Lorde, whose offstage name is Ella Yelich-O’Connor, was quite young when she entered the public eye. Her songs quickly climbed the charts, and she was soon incredibly famous. To cope with the spotlight, Lorde decided to disconnect from social media. That means she rarely shares personal updates, and her romantic history is fairly private.

“Part of what made me peace out on social media, apart from feeling like I was losing my free will, was the massive amounts of stress I was feeling about our planet, about systemic racism, and about police brutality in this country,” Lorde told Cazzie David for Interview magazine in November 2020.

Lorde also told Vogue in September 2021, “I’m great at my job, but I’m not sure I’m the man for the job. I’m a highly sensitive person. I’m not built for pop star life. To have a public-facing existence is something I find really intense and is something I’m not good at. That natural charisma is not what I have. I have the brain in the jar.”

Here’s what we do know about the star and what she has shared about her romantic life.

Lorde started dating photographer James Lowe when she was 16 years old, and he was 24. It’s actually her mom, Sonja Yelich, who has had the most to say about the relationship. She explained in 2014 to Rolling Stone that she did not approve of the age gap but couldn’t do much to dissuade her daughter and ultimately liked Lowe as a person.

“I didn’t say, ‘Yeah, sure, go date a 24-year-old.’ But her dad and I met James, and we liked him,” she said. “When Ella was much younger, her first boyfriend was older—four years or something.”

The couple split up in 2015 after about three years together, and fans have guessed her hit song “Green Light” from Melodrama was about their breakup. In an interview, Lorde said, “The song is actually about a heartbreak. And it’s not something that I really am used to writing about. It took me a while to be able to figure out how to write about that. It was my first major heartbreak.”

In an interview to promote the album with The Daily Telegraph’s Stellar, Lorde shared that her song “Sober” was partly about self-medicating following a breakup.

“There was an element of escapism and exploration and wanting to be myself in strange situations,” she said. “After a breakup, you go to these crazy places. I definitely did.”

From her relationship with Lowe, Lorde went on to date another older man, Justin Warren, who worked as the American promotions director for Universal Music in New Zealand. They first met in 2009, according to The New Zealand Herald, when she was signed to the label as a teenager. He is about 17 years older than her.

They were first rumored to be dating in 2015, when Warren accompanied Lorde to the red carpet at the Vodafone New Zealand Music Awards. They were seen together again a few months later in February 2016 in New Zealand, but he told The Herald, “Ella and I have worked together for years, and we’re good friends. Any rumors of us being ‘a pair’ are ridiculous. Ella has a really busy year ahead of her, and we’ll be spending more time together as plans for the next Lorde record unfold.”

In March 2019, however, it was rumored they might be engaged when they were photographed together in New Zealand, and Lorde was wearing a ring on her left hand. In April 2021, she was seen again with a ring on her ring finger at the Variety Power of Women event, this one with a large diamond.

The star never commented on dating or engagement rumors with Warren, but in September 2023, she implied that she had broken up with someone. In a newsletter to her fans, she suggested that she had recently split with a romantic partner.

“I’m living with heartbreak again,” she wrote. “It’s different but the same. I ache all the time, I forget why and then remember. I’m not trying to hide from the pain, I understand now that pain isn’t something to hide from, that there’s actually great beauty in moving with it. But sometimes I’m sick of being with myself.”

Aimée Lutkin is the weekend editor at ELLE.com. Her writing has appeared in Jezebel, Glamour, Marie Claire and more. Her first book, The Lonely Hunter, will be released by Dial Press in February 2022.